koek! Grilled aubergine, lentils, chilli, herbs

We were just outside Wellington, on the border of the desert, and the beers were still cold.We were on our way to the Tankwa Karoo National Park. About 60km back the route had curved sharply to the left, leaving behind lush vineyards and green hills, taking us into the bleached, eternal landscape of the Karoo.The Guinea Pig and I were elated - starting, as we were, on our second ice-cold Tafel lager.

This was the stuff, being out here, in the eye of nowhere, leaving it all behind: stress, the rat race, the air of city living - and, as it turned out, cell phone reception.As we crested another identical hill, several gleaming 4x4s came into view, parked on the position of the road down below. There were hazy figures milling about. Approaching, we saw one was lying in the road. Another was standing waving his arms in the air for us to stop.No one was hurt, though.A grouping of generously proportioned gentlemen - faces like pot scourers, heads like anvils - had decided it would be a great idea to draw over on the face of the route and draw a little . er, what looked like Coca Cola (undoubtedly kept company by one of it`s close associates, rum or brandy).These guys did not look drunk. They looked as though they had never been sober.Somewhere just outside Wellington.This is how we plant ourselves surrounded by about ten large, drunk characters (salt of the earth, I`m sure), leaning on the bonnet, standing in presence of the car, leering in through the opened window (idiot!), insisting - sort-of amiably, sort-of not - that we get out and take a pledge with them.GP and I smiled. We mumbled things on the lines of `Ha ha, we`d love to but we`re recent and we must be getting on. Thank you so often for the offer, though. Another time. Ha ha.`Very, very slowly, we inched forward, smiling slit-eyed, nodding, waving, until we broke free, at which level we accelerated reassuringly. Over the hill, we promptly downed another Tafel each in silence. The Scary Men were out of sight, soon to be out of mind. Or so we thought.`Why are you slowing down?` `I`m not,` says GP. There is an inch in his voice.`What do you mean?``The car is losing power - it`s slowing down all on its own. Something`s wrong.`Car trouble. Middle of nowhere. No cell reception.`We get to go back,` says GP.Although the prospect of having a bubble bath with Julius Malema held more charm than turning backward and pass our plastered friends again, proceeding further into the centre of nowhere was just not an option.So we turned round and made our way back towards Wellington. By the sentence the men came into view, we were not travelling faster than 20km/h, because we couldn`t.Once again, one of them lay low in the road and they waved for us to stop. GP, bless him, simple took a slight detour off the route and went right round the horizontal man. Very slowly.There is a special system of ticks and pinched muscles your face assumes when your insides have gone goopy with fear, and yet though your survival instinct has run off to cover behind a rock, somehow you know it`d be a very, very bad idea to let on that you are this last to incontinence.Although we were careful not to hold eye contact, we had time to find one of them, propped up by a car door, lose the fight against gravity. Another appeared to be pleasuring himself matter-of-factly, glass in (other) hand. It was not away the land of theory that one of them would make it into their lead to rugby tackle the car, or simply hop on and leave us with the chance to cause offense.The car slowed to 15km/h as we hit the incline, and dropped to 10km/h as we approached the crest. I had visions of the engine cutting, of the heart-stopping moment when the car would get to drift back down towards the Scary Men.By the clock we got over the hill, my trunk was so set it could have been exploited to open crates.We still managed to crest another hill before the engine finally died. At least we were out of sight.Four hours later - after a kind couple of geologists happened past and towed us to the nearest piece of cell reception, and we were able to bid for roadside assistance - we were second in Cape Town. We had a few laughs around the unanimous experience, about how our long-anticipated weekend in the wilds of Tankwa had almost turned into Deliverance in the desert.We laughed. But I will never leave it.That night I made this dish. And we liked it very much, because it is comforting. And when you`ve been a little traumatised, you want reassuring food.

It has all the qualities I most want in a recipe. Although I am a certifiable cookbook addict, I very rarely make the actual recipes in any of the ones I own, because I don`t need to have to source za`atar or enoki mushrooms or kohlrabi on my way home from employment in the evenings. I wish to terminate at Woolies or Pick n Pay and get everything I take in one go. Of class I get a bit more adventurous, usually on weekends, but it`s dishes like the one you see above that I adore - they get me excited, because it is their simplicity that makes them so brilliant.Well, don`t take my word for it.Grilled aubergine with lentils, chilli, herbsServes 2 as a chief and 4 as a side dish2 medium aubergines1 cup black/brown lentils (green is okay too), rinsed 1 large handful each coriander and flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped1 red chilly, seeds removed and finely sliced2 cloves garlic, finely slicedJuice and spice of 1 lemon50g chevin (soft goats cheese)3 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil1. Slice the aubergines length ways into 2cm slices and spreading out in a baking tray (they should not overlap). Sprinkle with salt and black pepper, drizzle with olive oil and operate the mixture into the aubergine slices with your fingers so they are evenly coated.2. Grill the aubergines until golden and cooked through (I put my oven on the highest setting and then place the aubergines at the bed of the oven so they make through without burning).3. In the meantime, cook the lentils. Place the lentils in a saucepan with two cups water and get to the boil. Turn the heat low and simmer until the lentils are warm but still firm, about 30 minutes. Set apart to cool. (I usually just whack the lentils into a sort and run cold water over them - they don`t get to be cold, they just shouldn`t be hot as the heat kills the preference of the herbs.4. In a bowl mix the lemon juice, zest, garlic, chilli, herbs and the olive oil, then stir into the warm lentils. Cut the aubergine slices into quarters and gently fold them into the lentils, taking care not to crush them up.5. Transfer to a serving dish, top with crumbled goats cheese and serve. (Yes, I took these pictures before I realised I`d left out the goat cheese!)